The Four Things To Know To Keep Your Relationship Alive

Hey there. 🙂

With a little effort and determination, everyone can spice up their relationship—no matter how long they are together. And do you want to know the best part? The more often you add spice, the easier and more natural it becomes for both of you.

Here are four things to know to keep your relationship alive. 

The Four Things. 

1. Nurturing Relationships Takes Watering. 

We grow up in a world that tells us that if we are the right person – love, attraction, and sex are easily attainable, like magic. Yet, the reality is that while your social media feed is filled with images of people seemingly having perfect relationships and sex lives, many relationship and sex therapists see what others don'don'they see: real-life couples struggling with intimacy and connection. These couples feel like something is missing because they're having sex—those who'who'vepped looking at each other lovingly like they did when they first began dating.

Know that nothing is wrong with your relationship if it feels lackluster- it only needs a boost. Once you and your partner acknowledge that fact (and you want to continue seeing each other), you can easily water your relationship to restart healthy growth in a positive, fun direction. 

Remember: it takes two on-the-same-page people to make a beautiful dance together. 

2. Spark Playful Curiosity.

Once you're bored with being proactive about your relationship – you can start doing things to freshen up your bond. You can surprise each other, reminisce about fun memories, and try something new in or out of the bedroom. These things are great for many reasons; the biggest one is going from zero sex drive to a lot of sex drive. By involving your brain, you'll have playful curiosity and intimacy; remember, your brain is where sex begins.

If you're looking for a resource to get the spark going, check out this 1996 research experiment. In it, partners in relationships ask each other different questions to rekindle the connection and love they once had.

The questions range from simple to vulnerable, including: 

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you will say? Why? 

What would be a perfect day for you? 

When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? 

If you could live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? 

3. Know Each OtheOther'se Language.

Knowing your and your partner's love languages can be essential to keep your relationship alive. Created by Dr. Gary Chapman – the five love languages showcase how people experience and show love. Usually, you have one preferred way of expressing love. Yet, remember, you don't share the same love language as your partner. 

Understanding your love language and your partner uncovering a gold-nugget shortcut to better communication and, therefore, more good love vibes in your relationship. 

The five languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts received, quality time, and physical touch. 

4. Re-Awaken Attraction and Desire.

Don't focus on the physical if you're looking for ways to keep your relationship alive. While you may have been drawn to your partner initially because of their appearance, attraction is multi-layered. Instead, focus on the layers of attraction when you begin dating.

Do you like the way your partner tells quippy jokes or the way they smell great all the time?

Is it how they move their mouth in a quirky way when they talk? Or how they do random acts of kindness for no reason other than being nice?

Focusing on the things you found attractive when you began dating may help you feel that pull of desire toward your partner again. This simple exercise is a great way to escape the negative spiral when all you can see are annoying qualities. It will also help you manage expectations and shoot for more realistic ones. 

Final Thoughts

These four things can help you take the first steps in nurturing your relationship. It will thrive no matter how long you have been together and only if you are on the same page regarding where you want to go in the relationship.

Is it going to be perfect?

No. 

It will be as good as it will get, and if you both have fun while letting go of the little things that don't matter, your spark, sex, and love will continue to grow for years.

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Thanks for reading; I hope you leave this article with one thing: you want to keep your relationship healthy, alive, and filled with intimacy and passion. 

Remember, your relationship is a living, breathing entity that requires watering; if you neglect it, it'll be away, and you know what the heck happened to the thing you thought was unbreakable. Don't take your partner for granted; look to their positives, and tell them what makes you blush. Feel like a kid again in your relationship and love every minute.

I'd like to hear from you by a comment.

-Shannon Marie