The Four Things To Know To Keep Your Relationship Alive

Hey there. 🙂

With a little effort and determination, everyone can spice up their relationship- no matter how long they’ve been together. And do you want to know the best part? The more often you add in spicy, the easier and more natural it becomes for both of you.

Here are four things to know to keep your relationship alive. 

The Four Things. 

1. Nurturing Relationships Takes Watering. 

We grow up in a world that tells us that if we’re with the right person – love, attraction, and sex, are easily attainable like magic. Yet, the reality is that while your social media feed is filled with images of people seemingly having perfect relationships and sex lives, many relationship and sex therapists see what others don’t. 

They see real-life couples struggling with intimacy and connection, couples who feel like something is missing because they’re not having sex—those who’ve stopped looking at each other lovingly like they did when they first began dating.

Know that nothing is wrong with your relationship if it feels lackluster- it only needs a boost. Once you and your partner acknowledge that fact (and you want to continue seeing each other), you can easily water your relationship to restart healthy growth in a positive, fun direction. 

Remember: it takes two on-the-same-page people to make a beautiful dance together. 

2. Spark Playful Curiosity.

Once you’re on board with being proactive about your relationship – you can start doing things to freshen up your bond. You can surprise each other, reminisce about fun memories, and try something new in or out of the bedroom. These things are great for many reasons; the biggest one is going from zero sex drive to a lot of sex drive. By involving your brain, you’ll spark playful curiosity and intimacy; remember, your brain is where sex begins.

If you’re looking for a resource on getting the spark going, check out this 1996 research experiment where partners in relationships asked each other different questions to rekindle the connection and love they once had.

The questions range from simple to vulnerable, including: 

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you will say? Why? 

What would be a perfect day for you? 

When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? 

If you could live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? 

3. Know Each Other’s Love Language.

Knowing your and your partner’s five love languages can be essential when looking to keep your relationship alive. Created by Dr. Gary Chapman – the five love languages showcase how people experience and show love. Usually, you’ll have one preferred way of expressing love. Yet, remember, you won’t always share the same love language as your partner. 

Understanding your love language and your partner's is like uncovering a gold-nugget shortcut to better communication and, therefore, more good love vibes in your relationship. 

The five languages are Words of affirmation, Acts of service, Receiving gifts, Quality time, and Physical touch. 

4. Re-Awaken Attraction and Desire.

If you’re looking for ways to keep your relationship alive – don’t just focus on the physical. While you may have been drawn to your partner initially because of their appearance, attraction is multi-layered. Instead, focus on the layers of attraction when you began dating.

Do you like the way your partner tells quippy jokes? Or maybe the way they smell great all of the time?

Is it how they move their mouth in a quirky way when they talk? Or how they do random acts of kindness for no reason other than being nice?

By focusing on the things you found attractive when you began dating, you may start to feel that pull of desire toward your partner again. This simple exercise is a great way to escape the negative spiral of when all you can see is annoying qualities and will help you manage expectations and shoot for more realistic ones. 

Final Thoughts

These four things can help you take the first steps in watering your relationship so it thrives -no matter how long you’ve been together and only if both of you are on the same page regarding where you want to go in the relationship.

Is it going to be perfect?

No. 

It will be as good as it will get, and if you both have fun while letting go of the little things that don’t matter, your spark, sex, and love will continue to grow for years.

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Thanks for reading; I hope you leave this article with one thing: you’ll commit to keeping your relationship healthy, alive, and filled with intimacy and passion. 

Remember, your relationship is a living, breathing entity that requires watering; if you neglect it, it’ll wither away, and you’ll wonder what the heck happened to the thing you thought was unbreakable. Don’t take your partner for granted; look to their positives, and tell them what makes you blush. Feel like a kid again in your relationship and love every minute.

I'd love to hear from you by a comment or an email. 

-Shannon Marie